Parker's Salmon "Slurm" Spread

3-4, pieces of smoked salmon.
About a 1/2 cup of sour cream
About 1 1/4 cup (or a container) of whipped cream cheese
About 1.5 TBSP of fresh lemon juice (can substitute lemon pepper if need be)
About 2 TBSP capers plus another to decorate the top
Some chopped shallots
some chopped green onions
pepper and salt to taste

Debone and chop up the fish, ya jerk. No one likes pin bones in their spread.

Add everything to a bowl and mix by hand. Or, add everything to a mixer and mix with a machine. I could care less which you use.

Mix until you get the consistency you like. Same goes for taste. If it doesn't taste good, make it taste good. Jebus, how hard is this?

Add to your serving bowl and top off with some of the capers. About another TBSP worth.

How much smoked salmon I add is depending on looks and color. Should end up looking something like this:

Looks good...You should do a Youtube video.....

This ain't YouTips Ryley.

capers are unnecessary as a decorative topping, they look like rabbit [Bleeeeep!].

Philistines!

Rabbit poo that tastes like little delicious salty pickles? Sign me and my sophisticated & civilized palette up!

Bone-apple-tea mofos...